I've tried bingeing and purging. Believe it or not, the bingeing part is pretty easy. I just can't make myself throw up. I am notorious for suppressing the urge to puke. This talent comes in handy when one is intoxicated in public, but not when one wants to get rid of that cheeseburger one just scarfed down in three bites.
Ok, so bulimia is out. What about laxatives you ask? I think not. I have a fear of anal leakage. I'm clenching my buttocks as we speak.
That leaves anorexia. I need to decrease my caloric intake to next to nothing and work out like a maniac. K, that might work, if I weren't addicted to Fruity Pebbles and reality television.
I've been repeating the mantra "Little Debbie snack cakes are not a meal!" and I recently bought an elliptical machine. I am in love with my elliptical machine. It's the
So far I haven't lost a fucking pound, but I've only been at it for a week. I'm gonna give it another month before I start smoking again and take up crack. Crackheads are always skinny.
Crack is wack!