I used my husband's battery operated sideburn trimmer without permission to shave my pubes and accidentally dropped it in the toilet.
Naturally, I panicked, snatched it out of the water as quickly as possible and preformed the "on/off, on/off" test to make sure it still worked. YES! Still works.
Totally embarrassed and afraid of getting in trouble (I spontaneously regress to age five when faced with awkward situations), I did the first thing that came to mind - I hid the trimmer in the bottom drawer of my vanity under a box of tampons.
The other day, I walked in on him shaving his sideburns....with the razor.
I still feel bad about not telling him. I think I'm going to buy him a new one for Christmas.
Good One! As he says in the bubble - I am sure there are things you don't want to know... :)
ReplyDeleteLMFAO!!! I might have to remember that for the next time mine pisses me off!!!
ReplyDeleteThat first sentence alone was worthy of a Booker Award. Talk about a hook... wow.
ReplyDeleteYet, it leaves the reader with questions.
Did it end up heart-shaped, (since that seems to be a fair payback for hubby)?
How did he know to look under the tampons, and why didn't that set off some alarms for him?
Why don't you think he reads your blog? (I sent him the link months ago). <--- just kidding.
This is why the lid should be closed at all times.
ReplyDeleteThe wife threatens to use my trimmer on the dog all the time. This bothers me much more than if she just used it on her pubes since those get washed far more often than the dog.
ROFLMAO!!! Oh my god...I love you.
ReplyDeleteNow, how did he find it? I guess tampons aren't a good enough husband blocker. lolol!
Confess, dear woman. Mis-using a side-burn trimmer isn't worth the price of a marriage.
ReplyDeleteMaybe he was looking for the tampons when he unexpectedly found his trimmer. Could be a story there... question is: do you want to know what it is?
ReplyDeleteMy husband feels the right to rummage thru anyone's stuff when he's looking for something he's lost (which is usually in plain sight). I'm pretty sure he wasn't looking for a tampon and happened to find his trimmer, but one never really knows. And I don't want to know.
ReplyDeleteHey! I think that says a lot of good stuff about your husband! [That he would bother to look for something himself.] Mine would just holler, "Where is my xxxxxx?"
ReplyDelete@ Elliott - LOL!!!!
ReplyDeleteI would have just added the razor to my stuff and my hubby would eventually ask where it is - and I would tell him exactly what happened and then make him buy a new one for himself.
Too funny! My ex started to use my ... down there razor, yes it's separate, and I told him what it's for, he didn't care and continued to shave his face. Um, ewe.
ReplyDeleteI still use my dead dad's old beard trimmer on my pubes. And it's still got some of his dead man whiskers trapped in the blades. Only now they're all mixed up with my pubic trimmings. Sigh. He would have wanted it that way.
ReplyDeleteFound you through The Blogess... love the post. And lol @ Elliot, how true it is.
ReplyDeleteLMAO! You are the best!
ReplyDeleteYer funny. I'm putting you in my blog now.
ReplyDeleteOH MY GOD, WHY ARE YOU SO FUNNY? No, WHY? I DEMAND AN ANSWER! I've been happily reading away here and wondering why you haven't posted since MARCH? Come ON! Shitty bloggers are clacking out junk EVERY DAY (some of them, anyway).
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